What to do when you feel guilty for prioritising yourself?
By Eleni Meraki
3 min. read
It sounds a bit ridiculous at first, yet I speak to só many women that are experiencing this feeling of guilt. We feel guilty for even thinking or wanting to prioritise ourselves in our life, let alone for actually doing it.
I’d like to start with what we experience when we don’t prioritise ourselves, over time. We end up feeling empty, unhappy and unfulfilled and oftentimes even frustrated or angry at ourselves.
Not standing up and backing ourselves for our own wants and needs in our career, our personal relationships and generally in our life, takes it’s toll over time.
That’s just a fact and I see it time after time again in my work. We have been taught to be empathetic and always consider other's feelings, wants and needs before making decisions or speaking up. We have to do the “right thing”, be “good” and “helpful” to people. Which of course is true, we are not alone on this planet and we do have to take others into consideration in our decisions – until a certain extend though.
Many of us have neglected our own wants and needs (and feelings) in our life completely.
Life takes over somehow as we tend to follow the path in front of us without really questioning it. We do that in our careers, in our relationships and in fact generally in our life. It’s safe, it’s comfortable, it’s what we see around us, what we have grown up with, but it’s also what eventually sucks us up and drains us down.
At some stage in our life we realise that we don’t know what we actually really want and need or we actually do know but are paralysed by our own fears. Fear of rejection and being called "egocentric" for doing what's right for us. Fear of losing people. Fear of being called crazy. Fear of what’s on the other side of that decision that we need to make. And then we start questioning ourselves if what we feel, want and need in our life is actually fair, we feel guilty for wanting something different, for wanting something more. And that’s how the downward spiral continues…
guilt is one of the most destructive emotions we can hold onto. It’s worse than anger.
Did you know that emotions in the body can be measured? Everything has a vibrational frequency, so do the emotions we experience in the body. And guilt is one of the lowest on the scale. See picture below.
So the answer to the question what to do when you feel guilt for prioritising yourself is the following.
You cannot give anything qualitative to anyone if you don’t feel good. Period. It’s your duty to prioritise yourself, to UP your own energy frequencies. And in very simple terms, to find your way to a happy place again. Cause only from this place you can actually fully contribute in this world with your presence. Help other people, have healthy relationships with other people etc. etc.
As you are directed to put your own oxygen mask first in the airplane before you can help your child in case of an emergency. So do you have to prioritise yourself in your life before you can contribute and be of service to others in your life. And feeling guilty for doing so, is an emergency.
I wholeheartedly would like to encourage you today to put on your own oxygen mask. You deserve to be happy, confident and free.
And if you need any assistance in your journey click here for more info on how I can help you.
WRITTEN BY ELENI MERAKI
Eleni is the founder of Guts & Tales. She is a hypnotherapist, mind-trainer, coach and creator of the women’s coaching program Be Your Own Muse. She helps women become clear, confident and courageous to be and live true to themselves.
Photography by Tai Yyun Chang for Unsplash